Nature's Power

On Friday some major storms came stomping through our area of the world, and they've stayed with us for way too long! This storm came with very high winds and torrential rains. Some homes near rivers have had horrible flooding, from the several inches of rains and the new moon's high tides... I've never experienced flooding and I hope I never do.

We felt the winds, and I mean scary high winds - 60 mile per hour winds, winds that sounded like trains running through our house hour after hour. I was trying to distract myself by working on a mandala when the lights went out around 9 p.m., and we lost power. My husband and I wandered around lighting candles and waited. It had already gone an hour earlier, but come back after five minute or so. After an hour we realized this was the real deal, so we decided it was a good idea to start up the little generator we bought a few years earlier, after a summer of black outs. It allows us to plug in a couple extension cords for our refrigerator, the fish tank, a few lights, a heater for the bedroom, phone, and tomorrow we'll lead one across to the neighbors for their frig.

I was still lying awake at 3:30 a.m., listening to the roar when there was the sound of a crash and our house shook. I knew a tree had fallen, just not which one or how much damage may have occurred. We were very lucky - our neighbors home was not, though they themselves were.

One of the branches went through the daughter's bedroom, but she had recently had surgery for a hip injury and was recovering downstairs, thankfully. The pictures say it all...

neighbors house

looking down our driveway, between the houses

above our bedroom, where the tree landed...

It's 10:30 a.m., Monday morning and there's still no power. It's really cold in here! More than anything I miss warm water.

bound

Yesterday I got my mandala journal all put together!

It felt good to spend a little time setting hand to task,

finding a rhythm, and getting it done.

I decorated the binding with milagros, choosing ones that symbolize what I want to focus on in the months ahead. I also found a place for this little carneilan buddha that I've had for years but never knew where I'd use it - the color is perfect!!

The binding technique I used is one that evolved when I was trying to figure out the best way to get a stack of finished work put together in a book. It works well with canvas boards, card board, ply wood - any single hard stack of art. I call it a slip knot binding, because it really is pretty much a series of slip knots, and results in a braid like look.

One of the beauties of it is that the pages lie perfectly flat when the book is opened.

and, I haven't forgotten about the video lessons that are meant to accompany this book. I'm working on it. My computer keeps telling me that it doesn't have enough memory to load each segment I've taped, so I'm trying to edit and scrap what I don't need, make room for the next and it's taking me way longer to complete than I thought it would, especially since I really don't like being on the computer!

but it'll get here... eventually :)

hand in hand

I made this today with all of you in mind.

Admittedly, hearts aren't usually my thing, but what they represent here is the amount of compassion, love, healing, care and all the other positive vibes I've received by being a part of this blogging community. We reach each other from across far and wide, learning many intimate details of one another's lives and grow to care for one another. I've received cards, gifts, emails and comments here that have turned gloomy days into treasured ones.

I thank you.

One of my most treasured of friends made here, and many of yours, is nearing the end of her battle with inflammatory breast cancer (a more rare and dangerous form of breast cancer than what I'm dealing with). I have been missing Renee, of the most wonderful Circling My Head. Her wit and humor have been something I looked forward to when ever I checked in after a new post - knowing she'd be one of, if not the first, to leave me a comment! She helped me a lot as I prepared for stepping onto the chemo path, giving me an incredible amount of advice, based on her own experiences, to help ease my symptoms. Her past few months have been brutal, her suffering great. I love Renee and wish for her as peaceful a departure as is possible.

May your body be at ease Renee and your spirit set to soar.

My heart goes with you...

post chemo

I don't think I need to say much here. As my day progressed yesterday the effects of the toxins in my body were felt, fully, and they followed me through the night. I'm doing better now, having purged myself onto this paper...

3 down, 5 to go...

I don't know about you, but for me, hearing that someone has been diagnosed with cancer brings dark gloomy imagery to my mind's eye. I haven't been close to anyone going through treatment, so haven't seen what receiving chemo entails, so I have only had my imagination to fill in the blanks. With an unclear picture, my view had no clear details, but colors of darkness, gloomy grays, sludgy browns, encircled by sterile whites and chemical scents would probably be the closest I could come to imagining the unknown. Of course I've seen beautiful, vibrant people interviewed, heads wrapped in colorful scarves, or playful hats, faces bright and illuminated, speaking from a place I never dreamed I'd visit.

Now that I'm on the 'inside' I understand it's not really different than anywhere else. There is the full spectrum of color, life, and laughter here, as there is every where. I thought I'd share a window into one of the rooms that cancer treatment inhabits.

Today was my third of eight rounds of chemo. I'm being treated at Phelps Hospital, in Sleepy Hollow, NY, through a branch of Memorial Sloan Kettering. Every area of the oncology department greets your with a beautiful salt water tank. The chemo department has the smallest, but no less enjoyable of the three (oncology, radiation, chemo).

They really are fun, and soothing, to watch. I'm afraid the second guy could use the visit of a good orthodontist though!

The view from the room where we receive our chemo treatments is a wonderful one - overlooking the Hudson River.

Here I am, getting comfortable and receiving fluids with the anti nausea medication that precedes the chemo itself. There are eight stations with big recliners and an upright guest chair for any company we bring with us...

and here I'm trying to catch up on email while my husband cracks me up! Near by a patient has an allergic reaction to his treatment, while another wretches from the nausea she is experiencing. I feel very fortunate that I'm doing well...

I was alone during my first two rounds,

but my husband came with me this time,

which was really nice, and made the ride home a whole lot easier, too, as the nausea I didn't feel during treatment suddenly moves through me.

Now I'm home and getting ready to settle into a comfortable ball, with a pile of pillows, a blanket and a cup of tea...

I still haven't bound this mandala journal, but I began working on one of the pages yesterday anyway, feeling the need to push myself into doing some creating. I think I must have been glimpsing ahead into spring and even further into the heat of future summer days!

The pages is made from papier mâchéd cardboard, using arabic news papers as the background, with a gessoed circle centered in the page for my mandala making.

I find myself still in slug mode, struggling to put much energy into anything beyond reading and snoozing. I don't want to get too comfortable in this space, but I won't push myself unnecessarily either. Ideas continue to percolate, which feels good - I just have a problem engaging my physical being when it comes to carrying out those ideas!

So for now the pages lie stacked beside the waiting covers, and soon I hope to follow through on binding and sharing the full process.

As many of you know, and experienced, we had a winter storm of historical proportions last friday! Here are a few shots I took to document it's beauty.

Looking out the upstair window into our dogwood tree's branches

you can see a small window where the branches opened.

The view was like a rabbit hole into an icy world of

pure white light, dangerously hypnotic.

I took two photos out of my studio window - one as the storm began,

with inches of slush falling on Thursday,

and the next is what we woke to the following morning on Friday.

Many more inches fell to a final total of about 20.

We were among the very lucky, never losing our power,

being only mildly inconvenienced with cancellations,

which was worth the quiet beauty we were able to experience

in the safe comforts of home.

click any picture for a closer view

days in a daze

It's been several days since I've turned the computer on. I haven't had the energy or where with all to do much of anything. All strength seemed to be drained completely from my body, so I've been sleeping - a lot - but not much else.

But before the veil descended, I began constructing my mandala journal, and I have been recording the progress step by step with photos and video. I thought I'd share a teaser with a few shots, but in time I will have the process readied to share with you in full. I have used spackle compound to create the texture and the pages are all paper machéd cardboard. I'm pretty pleased with how it's coming along and look forward to regaining the strength I need to put it all together!

Thank you for bearing with me while I ride the tides of chemo and all that comes with healing. While I am visiting you and posting less consistently, as I listen to the messages my body sends, I want you to know my thoughts and thanks are with you daily.

Snow inspires!

snow mandala

Along with a good part of the country, we had some dramatic wintery weather hit us hard yesterday, and there's only one thing I love more than a thunderstorm (when it comes to weather) and that is a big snow storm! I got what I love and became inspired...

Here are views from a front window,

and out back through my studio window,

about midway through the storm.

The falling flakes brought the mandala imagery to my mind...

First I drew a circle, and poked holes in the pattern above.

Using hemp string, I made a knot in each hole -

I guess it's something like a french knot in embroidery.

Here is the back side of the stitching, and the gessoed front

Next I drew out my design and began painting...

click images for closer view

☃

As the sun was setting, I had the need to get myself out into the snow,

and with the help of my husband, we made a snow man.

and today I took a few more shots in the daylight

fortune cookie wisdom

I just want to say thank you to all who left me

such warm and loving comments over the past few days.

The support I have experienced, for both what I do

and what I am experiencing, has touched me more deeply than you can know.

I am grateful to know that by sharing what I do

others experience inspiration -

I know that it heals me, but to think it reaches beyond

what often feels like a selfish practice,

and others find healing in my practice

is humbling.

Then I remember -

and we are each interconnected

with one another. When you heal, I heal;

when you suffer, I suffer;

what I create comes from you,

what you respond to, comes from me.

I do believe in the Oneness, and that is why

I keep doing what I do, and sharing it all with you.

~~~~~~~~~~☯~~~~~~~~~~

The cookie fortune above, which inspired this piece,

is tucked within the tea bag tag,

glued in the upper left corner of this image...

For now,

I'm working in this 11½" x 9½" hand bound book I made

a couple years ago. It's got a mish mash of things within it's pages.

You can see the past two images are here,

head to head.

I am creating on another new journal which I'll share in a few days.

I liked Jasmine's suggestion of doing a mandala dedicated journal,

which I haven't done for several years.

More an more the appeal of having several journals going,

each with their own focus, is feeling good to me!