Thursday, May 28

undividing attention

     It has been one of those weeks where it feels as though so much has been happening, mostly internally, that the feelings of change are too great to keep up with. It's exciting and sometimes makes me wish for more hours in the day.  Excitement and change can also be seductive.  The energy of them make me feel as though I can do more than I actually can, physically, so I'm riding along only realizing after it's too late that something like two appointments in one day - normal for many - is not something my body is up for.

     The past two days have slowed down and become cool and dark outside, creating the perfect environment for what I know I need to do - take it easy and nap!  My body feels that deep and heavy lethargy wash over it that comes out of no where with some auto immune diseases, and all you can do is give into it. Resistance, as in any part of life, creates more pain and separation from peace or contentedness - for me it is simply is not an option.

"Real meditation comes when the meditator dies." 

     When I am able to attain this kind of surrender, it washes away all resistance and suddenly meditation isn't what I am doing, it is what I am.  In order for me to meditate, I must apply this to my experience with pain as well, and it can be amazing when practiced for those of us that suffer from chronic pain - emotional or physical.  Rather than resisting the sensations, I sit with them - meet the pain or the emotion completely, breathing, merging, and melting into it, fully present with the experience of what is.  

     To merge myself into wholeness, I have to fully enter the experience I am having. If it's pain, I must become completely aware of, and feel, the pain.  I must enter it, and allow the pain to enter me.   What eventually happens is transformative.  It isn't that pain or disease are necessarily eliminated, but the division and conflict within Self is gone.  The energy used to resist is freed and there is no more trying.

click on images for closer view

     I will let there be no difference between "good days" and "bad days", they are all simply days, each offering a different experience.  I am no longer "healing" or trying to be healed, I am healed in this day; tomorrow is another day and may have a different form of healing in it for me...
Now, I am off for that nap!

The above artwork are older pieces. The first two are from a series of personal daily art pieces I did in 2005.  The first is a pencil drawing; the second is oil pastel, covered with a layer of finely crushed chalk pastel which a rubbed into the surface, and then scratched through to create the drawn lines.  The bottom piece was done at a workshop with Alex Grey, during a guided meditation, and is colored pencil on black paper.


  1. I was talking to a friend of mine today, just after I had spent 30 minutes or so with my new and miraculous practice of meditating. I asked her "Hey, have you ever tried meditating ?" "No," she replied, "But I hear it is good for you." A bit of an understatement, maybe ?

    So glad that you have found a place and a way to feel whole. And by sharing your experience, you inspire others (like me !) to find it for themselves.

    Oh so cozy napping, beautiful Karin.
    Love Kim

  2. Hi Kim, Indeed! It isn't always the easiest or most comfortable thing for me to do, at least not at first, but it becomes so, and so much more! So glad you're finding it to be a "miraculous practice" for yourself, too!
    my nap was goooood!

  3. Karin you are so evolved and so in tune with the world that you truly speak the language of the world.

    You are the alchemist who understands what the world is saying.

    I am thankful for how you teach me all the time.

    All the time, every moment I have shared with you is an absolute gift to me.

    Love Renee xoxoxo

    p.s. the pictures are incredible.

  4. beautiful thoughts, beautiful images, I wish you a peaceful weekend!

  5. It must take some getting used to ...trying to meditate through the pain. I've often wondered how people with chronic pain manage to do this. I thought meditation would dull the pain. I tried to meditate whilst suffering from an abscess on the tooth (stuck way out in the sticks far from any dentists). Nothing helped. Once again I admire your tenacity. As Renee teach me so much.

  6. I enjoy your blog so much that I almost feel guilty knowing you are in pain so often as you create. It just doesn't seem right.

    Although I have not practised Qigong myself, I am quite familiar with it as my husband practised it for a few years and found a great sense of peace and acceptance within himself.

    I hope it brings you peace and healing.

    Have a great weekend, Karin!

  7. You and I both know exactly where the thanks belongs. Oh my God Karin. I am serious. I hold my prayer book with such reverance. It is sick. I haven't loved something so much in a long time.

    The colours. Wow.

    Nathan loves the milagro.

    Love Renee xoxoxo

  8. Very interesting the drawing from the bottom.You are very talented . Is very misterious, I wish I could understand it better. Why the snake exits from the nose? Maybe the snake is the pain?

  9. Hi Simona, it's hard to tell, but the snake is actually exiting from the mouth, and the snake's body is blocking a view of where the nose would be seen - what you can see is the lower lip and chin.
    In the visualization I had, (through a guided mediation - the details of which I don't remember now) I had a strong sensation of this snake moving in and through me, including up my throat and a sensation that I might gag and should open my mouth. To me part of the message is/was to allow myself to enter discomfort/pain and allow it to fully enter me - it will move through and pass - it doesn't necessarily feel good, but it does keep moving, and there is even beauty along the way.
    Thanks for visiting and asking!

  10. Thakns for the explanation. I like that your works comes from something inside you and this is very beautiful, is like you show us the world you have inside.

  11. Kim I just have to keep on coming back to your blog, and when I do I am always so pleasantly surprised. Another fantastic piece.

  12. To transcend the conditioned desire to judge is part of a cathartic process of inner growth. Love how the image of the snake flows through the body. One can choose not to be affected by fear or perception of the external. Every supposed incident is a test. As you build resiliance, you strengthen and awaken dormant soul.


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