pine cone flower from Donna!
It's been raining steadily all day here today, hard and heavy. The forceful winds cause the raindrops to batter our windows from every direction. I am grateful to be warm and dry; glad there for no reason to venture out!
bits of comfort,
to engage my senses
polished and oiled by a friend,
from a bonsai tree that died
I have been contemplating how I will proceed here, on my blog, as I encounter new and unexpected challenges in my latest life adventure with this thing called breast cancer. What had seemed straight forward and relatively simple on the surface, has become more complicated and difficult. I still have unanswered questions and more testing to go through before I know the full extent of what may be necessary, but on that list of possibilities are bone scans and a mastectomy. Quite frankly, another surgery feels beyond my limits of doable, yet having now been through seven, in as many years, I know I am able to endure far more of this sort of thing than I ever thought possible. I've come to realize, we all are.
However, I am no longer energized by anger (as I wrote about in an earlier post). I'm feeling worn down and tired. I have ideas and images I create in my mind, because my body is hurting too much to actually follow through. I am close to completing my journal, but a few pages remain, so I've been wondering - what next?
I was sifting through my studio a little today, and paging through a sketch book I made, and came to this quote I'd written down, but sadly had not given credit to the words there.
"... Once the visionary eye is open,
the Revelation of Truth becomes possible.
Such a revelation is sudden, involuntary,
shattering, and transforming.
The fortress of the individual self is destroyed
and a new being with new understanding is born."
Somehow it feels relevant,
and brought me back to feeling a place of strength within.