Wednesday, June 16

what's normal

about sleepless nights and endless days

of bone burning,

blood vomiting,

body swelling,

gut wrenching

medical poisoning preservation?

absolutely nothing...

longing for the return

very soon.


  1. you have so much courage! it is so different between your art and your pain, i beleive in you and you make overs strongers

  2. Dearest Karin- Fabulous art work as always- AMAZING in fact- I don't know how much a super human as yourself, can take ...You deal so well . Still making time to make art and blog and share. AMAZING!
    LOVE YOU SO! ( don't know how you do it...)

  3. Karin, these pictures and your words are so raw - they are heart stopping in their communication of your pain. I have enormous respect and admiration for your ability to share these parts of yourself with us here. Sending you loving, heartfelt healing wishes, Pen x

  4. Karin, my heart goes out to you...
    Annie - the Netherlans

  5. Look at you! You're able to create beautiful art, whether it's about the oil tragedy or your own intense experiences with cancer and the brutalities of cancer treatment.

    You are so not any of the things happening to your body. And it will recover because look what it contains - your beautiful soul xo

  6. Karin, what ive misseed in your posts before are the words behind your beautiful work. Today they cut through the air like jagged shards of mirror opening my heart even more to your beauty.THank you
    much love

  7. Oh Karin...
    as you commented on my page that you were sleepless too I sensed that you are going through a rough time. I was going to send a message to ask you as I discovered this blog post of you that´s sadly confirming my foreboding.

    I love you for your neverending courage and your endowment to keep on being creative even in your hardest times. I have so much respect for this.

    Please know that you are always in my thoughts and whenever you need a friend I´ll be here for you, always.

    Feel better soon.

    Much love ~ Bettina

  8. Sending you hugs. Tomorrow is going to be just fine and you will feel so much better there on after. I can feel it xxJ

  9. Soon ... very soon. After tomorrow's last treatment I will celebrate on this side of the world. Another powerful image, Karin. Hang in there my friend.

  10. I agree with ArtPropelled. "Hang in there" are 3 wonderful words of encouragement. Won't be long now.

  11. Your image and words cut right through my heart this morning. Stay strong. We are all praying for you through this last part.

  12. Hope your strong spirit pulls free of this soon. xox Corrine

  13. Through it all, breathe in the love of your friends and the Earth herself and breathe out the pain. All the best to you, Karin....xoxo

  14. I was just telling my daughter yesterday how you have described the pain and she cried. Even with her father having cancer she is just now starting to grasp a little understanding of how "they" fix it, yet she is still confused on how come they can poison us and that fixes it.

    as we would all like to understand the madness: search and destroy; destroy and repair


  15. Medical poisoning preservation--it IS a strange thought to grapple Even from a distance.

    Here's hoping you've found some sweeter peaceful hours of rest by now. A breath a smile and healing energy rain over you


  16. Thinking of you and hoping for your quick return, too.

  17. Dear Valerie, thank you for your generous words.

    oh Linda - thank you - I love you too my friend. if I didn't art, id really lose it, so it's purely a matter of must - that's how I do it! we all find our way, when push comes to shove, and this is mine. I'm just so dang lucky it has me attracting all this phenomenal support!

    Hi Pen, well this has been a particularly bad series of days. I guess I'm rounding out the chemo experience with a bang! thank you for ebing ther. xox

    Thank you so much Annie, and for your beautiful gift, a near by smile making comforter! xo

    ha, well it's no good being one faceted, now is it svasti?! and lately they feel a little too connected, in the way I respond and experience them personally. my prayers are that both situations will soon be
    concluded and healed, permanently. may it be so. xox

    I understand that Sevapuri, words aren't my truest medium. yesterday they came, hours before the imagery, and so I wrote them, saved them, and later the rest. together they do tell the story best - you are welcome. thank you, too, with love. K

    thank you Bettina, I know you are there, and I visit your page just to smile and see what's attracting your attention - as so many interesting things do!! I feel you here with me - thank you and much love

    thank you Jasmine, yes, soon this will all be a memory to look back upon... xox

    thank you Robyn! may the party horns resound :) xoxo

    It's funny, as I read those words I see the image I created - she appears to be 'hanging in there' now - it's what we do when we are in the grin and bear it phase. I'm gonna unhook her and shake free, ready to be standing in there, soon walking through there - and after the radiation I'll be in the dancing outta there phase!! Thanks Cheryl, for helping me see it through. xox

    Hi Manon, thank you for your prayers on this journey. xox

    thank you Corrine - it's pulling me along :) xox

    thank you for that meditation Delphyne, ❤

    Sounds like there's one compassionate heart beating in that daughter of yours Paige. It's hardest of all to allow ourselves to fully feel the pain of someone as close to us as a parent - perhaps through the distance of my story it can begin to seep in for her. The process is confusing, but there is great power in the process of destruction for resurrection. Whether it be within our own bodies, or in great art! as long as we are able to remain on this side of that fine line... blessings to you and your family.

    It is bizarre, isn't it Mansuetude - but if I think about it on a grander scale, perhaps it is how most healing occurs. Perhaps it takes great poisoning before great healing - like a massive oil spill to change how we humans use our earth's resources... I'm just thinking...

    thank you Liz, xox

  18. Longing for the return for you too, my beautiful Friend. Love and tender healling hugs to you as you make the journey through...

  19. Hey darlin' K
    I feel you teach so deeply here:

    "The process is confusing, but there is great power in the process of destruction for resurrection. Whether it be within our own bodies, or in great art! as long as we are able to remain on this side of that fine line..."

    You are accomplishing the really deep work that visits many of our precious some point there is the renunciation of the poison (from whatever source) for the regeneration of well being...

    your work is a magnificent testimony to your 'gloriously wretched'(as Pema would say) path.

    gentle hugs dear soul sister.

  20. dear karin,
    i feel deeply moved by both your words and potently beautiful art. like arrows from the bow of a most skilled archer, they have exactly reached their target. my heart cracks open with love and compassion for you and your journey, your willingness to share your truth, so open and vulnerable. your voice, the many beautiful comments, filled with such love and tenderness for you, to witness this feels like i'm in an exquisite cathedral, surrounded by beauty and majesty, infused by spirit, listening to a choir singing strong and true of the beauties and frailities of being human.

    sending you love on the breezes.

  21. Oh honey xoxoxoxoxo

    You're returning. Your soul is making sure of this.

    You're on my mind a lot. I'm not blogging lately -- too many brain farts -- MAJOR brain farts ...

    Karin, your beauty is unstoppable -- always remember that, no matter what xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

    Love you through & through, my friend!

  22. P.S. "... great poisoning before great healing", you wrote ... I can't say anything more to that right now than YES ...

  23. You are in a place I have never been. My heart aches that you are in this place. My faith believes in you to do a vision of wellness art piece and keep it before you.

    I don't know why I put this out to you. It just came out as I typed.

    Blessings and compassionate energy are sent your way.

  24. Karin, You have put your pain into that intensely moving drawing, symbolically sharing it with us. I wish each of us could take a little part of it for you, literally. But the end is in sight, and I can feel your strength as you hold on so tightly. I'm sending you some of my strength; use it help you hold on, and soon you will come out the other side, transformed. I'm praying for that day.

  25. Dearest Karin, I wish i could be there to just comfort you as you experience each and every step toward to the return home to your studio. Imagine and live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

  26. Heh I am not sleeping right now... You have such incredible courage and I am sending you love and gentle hugs. Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

  27. karin,what else can you do but hang in and get through it

    look at all these comments here. you are well loved here. we both know that counts for something.

    do you miss renee's 'fuck this' and 'fuck that!" and 'you are so fucking awesome, karin!" this is a time when you qualify for all the 'fucks' you want, karin. i talk more than i pray, but i am going to pray that your bone pain especially stops being so deep.

    i am glad to be here among your friends.


  28. you made a beautiful connection regarding the "poison" yes; i have been thinking, and calling it that too. It IS afterall, one large health, one large Love, Body, bloodstream.


  29. my hair is standing on end and my stomach is churning... oh you know all the things I want to say and will say badly, be well friend

  30. Hey D, that's perfect, 'gloriously wretched'... I'd say that is how best to describe life in this world these days, for many. It is very much a learning experience, for me. If I am teaching, it is happening simultaneously as i learn! and having you and others repeat my words back to me helps in the process! it's a shared process, which is why it is important to me to share. I hope you are healing well with your own unexpected health hurdle! love you, K

    Katie, your words have struck me to the core and opened my heart as well. I never know how or who will visit, read, and respond - nor how they will respond. your honesty and appreciation for all the touching voices that opened up here has cut through to say what I am feeling as well, and so well. I thank you. ❤ k

    dearest Jaliya, no worries for that gassy brain!! sorry, had to say it , you painted the picture with your words :) thank you for making me smile and for you heart, passion and love. You've said enough - it's always enough! love, K

    Thank you for the idea Wild Magnolia - I have something in the works that may be along the lines of what you're thinking!! and thank you for the positive energies - they are all helping the healing process, for sure. xox

    Yes Sharmon, it is in sight - and one phase has come to a close today!!! I was adorned with colorful star stickers and sent off to my final chemo session earlier, with all my blood work showing great improvement - numbers in the normal range!! I think all the great thoughts, prayers and energy being sent has helped me improve, including the strength you've sent my way, so thank you my friend. love, K

    and now I am not sleeping Mary Helen - you know how those steroids can be - they can pump you up!!! so here i am, wiped out but wide awake, wanting to celebrate big time, but it's after 1:30 in the morning and everyone is asleep :) In four more weeks the radiation starts, and hopefully studio construction (we've hit some bumps in that road, so we'll see. I'm staying out of it - either it happens or it doesn't - I can't stress about it!) I hope you are currently experiencing sweet dreams. much peace, xoxo K

    Heh, yeah, I'm missing Renee's outrage, laughter, both her profanity and brilliance - the all of her. She'd be planning a gathering of celebration for me right now, pulling the blogger community into a fantasy vacation with all the best foodies, musicians, dancers, etc to entertain us, feed us, massage and pamper us into heavenly bliss! I'm grateful that she's here with us, through us, always.
    lovr, karin

    It is what I find I believe Mansuetude, it is One big universe, and we are in that Oneness, on this planet - if we don't see that then we become the poison... the cancer... and fall over the wrong side of the fine line. we must come together, return, very soon. much peace, k

  31. Very powerful images, Karin. I feel the energy behind these. Bright healing wishes and love, dear one. xx

  32. To say this piece is strong and powerful is an understatement. It captures so much!


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