One of the hardest, but most fulfilling aspect of this... I'm not even sure what to call it... simply 'this time in my life', is the time spent in the waiting room. It's usually a reasonably short wait, but a lot is felt, heard, and shared during that time.
There is often a great weight within the wait. Fear is palpable from some.
the waiting room
I feel my heart open and ache for the little boy within the 70+ year old man, who has never been sick before, now suddenly has tumors living in his body - 30% smaller than they were before treatment, but still there, inoperably there.
Today, a fellow breast cancer patient, who I see nearly every day, was sitting alone, looking shaken. Her daughter is usually with her, her driver each day. On their way today a young deer jumped, in a flash, in front of their car. Thankfully neither she nor her daughter were hurt, but the deer was killed, the car badly damaged, this woman visibly depleted. As she finished her story, I was called into the back for my turn on the table, so I had to leave her there, alone, as her daughter had returned to the deer and called 911.
When I came out, I looked for her, but she was gone, so I sat down on a bench to wait and see if she'd come out and want company until her daughter returned. As I sat (playing on my new b-day present, an iPad, and yes, I love it!) I was approached by a new face, open, friendly and smiling, enquiring about the head coverings I wear. (They are "buffs", from Planet Buff - I wear 2, layered, mix and match - a great solution for chemo or alopecia patients!). We chatted for a while, sharing a bit of our stories and discovered we both are living in New Rochelle (well, she's in the process of moving there from a neighboring town) and we plan to start walking together. The buddy system of motivation!
I never did see the other woman come out - I missed her some how, but I am glad that I followed the urge to sit and wait.
click on images for closer look
A very fine day.
I felt clarity through my fatigue.
Connected awareness to others, to my intuition, to the day itself.
For this I am oh so grateful.
How was your day?